Will's Domain

We are from the Great White North.

We span from sea to shining sea to icy sea.

We have the longest undefended border in the world.

We have a significant portion of the world’s fresh water supply.

We have a significant chunk of the Global Oil Reserve.

We have the majority of the worlds Uranium supply.

We have so many trees that our massive lumber industry is self sustaining.

We have the northern most permanent settlement in the world.

We have off shore oil drilling in two oceans and known reserves in the third.

 

And someone is trying to rob us of it. They are trying to take our fair share of the ocean.

What is their argument? Brace yourself for this high-school-drama-whore logic pattern. We aren’t using it enough. I am certain that Car thiefs use the same logic when they go joy riding to a chop shop.

It is time to use the Artic.

International law states that we get to keep what we protect.

How do you protect a frozen sea?

We must protect it from above and below.

Above the ice is a challenge, it is hard to build a building on ice. Ice melts. Planes however will work, except planes and pilots are expensive. Unmanned Arial Vehicles (UAV) on the other hand are cheap. UAVs backed up by VTOL (helicopter) deployed special response teams (soldiers) who are stationed on nearby land (Alert) can ensure that any trespassers are properly deported.

Below the ice is an even bigger challenge. Submarines are the only option and they are expensive. Ridiculously expensive and dangerous, a submarine accident is a fast ticket to death, an under ice submarine accident is the exact opposite of death proof. That is why we need to develop and produce the submarine equivalent of a UAV. What would this USV (Unmanned Submersible Vehicle) look like?

It would look like a submarine.

All it would need is detection equipment, torpedoes, engines and a nuclear reactor. That’s right an unmanned nuclear powered attack submarine. Awesome.

Now we have UAVs and USVs to patrol the north. However there still need to be people in this equation. We will still need manned submarines, manned planes and soldiers to enforce our property rights. There is still a need for a commitment in man power however by using our technology we can make holding onto what is ours an affordable proposition.

What happens when push comes to shove? How do we protect ourselves and our interests from competitors to the north?

We make it so expensive that no one wants to challenge us. Don’t think it is possible? The United States spent the USSR into collapse to win the cold war. Now you must be asking is it possible for Canada with one tenth the money of the United States to do the same?

Yes, it is absolutely possible. Using our technology as a multiplier for our labour pool we can do it, especially in the limited area of the Great White North.

THE WILL

There are a number of issues facing the future of the World Wide Web. The top three are segregated networks, Web 2.0 and two-tier internet services. Many of the more socially controlling countries (China, Saudi Arabia, Iran…) have built their own state run versions of the internet. These networks include strict content controls and little to no access to the World Wide Web that we know and use. Web 2.0 is the expected shift from computer internet use to fully integrated personal use. We are starting to see some of the derivative technologies in items such as the Blackberry, which integrates cell phones and emails, and Gaming consoles which now come with fully integrated wireless internet with browsing capabilities that are nearly on par with those of desktop computers. Finally there is the threat of two-tier internet. With one layer free for all, yet slower, filled with advertisements and limited in content and the second layer, fast, advertisement free and having no limits on content. Two-tier internet is scary, in the same manner that stat controlled media is scary. It is another tool to be used to separate the social classes that exist today; the rich and the poor. By limiting the poor’s access to all of the content of the internet it will become more difficult for people of a lower social stature to raise themselves up the social ladder. The use of the internet for self education and the parallels of being educated and gaining wealth can not be ignored and by making access to internet based education more dependent on wealth we are hurting the poor.

 

The Will

There are two reasons for me to write about Cheesecake. The first is because it was the random topic that was selected by my random topic generator and the second reason is because I have to produce something for a project.
I was talking to my friend Jess the other day and we were talking about the completely random topics that come from being bored and having internet access.

The thing about Jess that makes her important is that she is artistic. Not I play Stairway to Heaven at house parties to get dumb girls to sleep with me artistic and not “sex is its own type of art” artistic but genuinely creative in an “I fell out of the box” kind of way.

So as part of my completely random conversation with Jess I ask her for a Livejournal topic. The last time I asked she said Water, and look at how that motherfucker turned out.

So what does the girl say? “Cheesecake” So now I have to find a way to write something intelligent about a type of cake. A type of cake I’m not even particularly fond of. But it is cake and cake is good for some things.

Birthdays and impressing girls which are important things. With out them we’d be extinct and being extinct would be a bad thing. It would be nearly as bad as having no access to TV shows with solid writing. Well I exaggerate. It is just that we are rapidly approaching the day when all we have is reruns and reality TV to watch.

Damn you WGA strike. Why do the studios need to be sodomising your creativity for profits without sharing? The studios could at the very least provide a reach around, say an extra four cents per DVD sold in residuals. Before anyone points out that four cents is hardly the value of a story. I need to point out that four extra cents on every DVD sale in residuals is exactly what the WGA is striking over. Four cents. For four cents I risk being exposed to an influx of reality TV. Don’t believe me check out this fact. Cops, the first reality show, was created in response to the WGA strike in 88’ and that strike only lasted five months. Yet we still have Cops and all of the reality shows that it has spawned.

Professionals, in this case members of the WGA, are predicting that there will be a strike for at least, wait for it, six months. Six fucking months. Sorry I mean at least six fucking months. It could always be longer, especially if the corresponding actors guild and directors guild decided to go on a supportive strike come June when their contracts expire. That would be fucking awesome. No writing in Hollywood, no acting in Hollywood and no directing in Hollywood.

California would collapse into the ocean.

That would have an awesome effect on the entertainment industry.

THE WILL

Water is life. We need it like we need air. It just takes longer to die without water then it does when we have no air.

In Canada we have an abundance of water. We have so much water we decided to put it in some super lakes, glaciers, underground lakes, and well everywhere.

Our water is so pure that when people actually get sick from drinking it the political process is effected. Canada has the Walkerton scandal and the US has homophobic senators getting arrested for soliciting male prostitutes. That is how important clean water is to Canada, it is like... ...I'm not spelling out the reference.

Water is a resource which means that some places have more then enough and some places are deserts. The Middle-east I am looking at you, and Africa. What this means is that the people who don't have the water need it and the people who do have water don't realize that they have an abundance of the second most valuable resource in the world. Oil is number one. To see what it makes people do to protect their way of life check out Iraq. Which is for oil. Black gold. The foundation of our entire economy and way of life. But Water is life.

There are three types of resources, food, energy and construct-ables.

Food is anything that we must have to survive. Must have not want to have. Facebook and cellphones are not food.

Energy is anything that can be used to produce heat. Oil, coal, uranium, wood, and light are all energy. We use it to make food and to make the climate more comfortable.

Construct-ables are the things we build things with, rock, wood, steel, aluminum and oil are all used to build things.

By combining these resources in different quantities we can maintain our standard of living.

Regular light bulbs have around six parts, new halogen bulbs over twenty. Regular bulbs consume lots of energy during their lifetime and little to produce. Halogen bulbs are the opposite except they last a hell of a lot longer then regular bulbs. Thats why in a year or two we will be using only Halogen bulbs.

Water is life.

Oil may be the foundation of our energy resources but there are alternatives. The first person who puts their hand up and mentions ethanol gets cock slapped. Hard. To produce energy we have available to us hydro-damns, solar-cells, windmills, coal, wood, oil, and nuclear.

Coal and wood are out. They are the reason why China pollutes more then the United States. Oil is absolutely awesome aside from the fact that it is going to run out. Hydro-Damns have some strict requirements like water changing altitude and the need for reservoir space. Solar and wind power are either intermittent or unpredictable. Nuclear power is feared because of ignorance, environmentalists and feminists.

To resolve our upcoming energy crisis for another couple of hundred years, we need Nuclear power and a lot of it. Imagine a nuclear power plant beside every city with more then fifty thousand people providing cheap and safe energy. Imagine recycling plants that take the spend nuclear fuel rods and re-refine them to be used another hundred times. Imagine high efficiency high temperature finishing reactors that turn nuclear waste into lead. It will be awesome. It is the only way to resolve our dependency on Oil for power. Imagine half a million ton super mega freighters running on nuclear power to bring us resources from across the world. Shipping a tanker full of oil from the Middle East to here will no longer burn a third of the tanker's cargo getting here. With abundant nuclear energy we will start using more and more metal. Lunch boxes will be steel. Not plastic. Plastic is after all oil. So is Cheese Wizz and processed cheese slices. We will use oil in cars. Gasoline is safe compared to say hydrogen or massive lead acid batteries especially in the hands of the barley trained to drive public. We need oil for cars, and for plastic. We don't need to be using it to make electricity, or heat. There are better ways to power our homes.

Water is life. It is a scarcity for a full third of the worlds population. Only in north america is it cheap and only in Canada is it virtually free. One day our neighbor will look at us and see how much we have. They will see that in Alberta there is more oil then in Saudi Arabia, they will see that we have 90% of the world's Uranium reserve and they will see that we have more water then god. They will want it and we will sell it to them. We will sell it to them for slightly less then what it will cost to come and take it. We are not Iraq, why should be stubbornly hold on to what we have when we can sell it. As long as we are the last place to run out then we will have won and we will be the last place to run out. Because our neighbor would rather buy from far away now knowing that there is a supply nearby then be fully dependent on the Middle East.

That is all for now. I love being Canadian, living here makes me feel rich.

THE WILL

There are some people who you meet, who you don't actually have any desire to meet again.

Then there are the people who you meet and you keep them around for a trait or attribute.

It could be a special skill, talent or something physical.

They could be funny, smoking hot, or opinionated.

Then there are the people you keep around you because you share the same views.

It could be about politics, world issues, the environment or the things we hate.

Then there are the people who you can't explain in words why you hang out.

You just do because it is right and because making fun of things is so much fun.

Nothing binds a friendship then mutual hatred of something else.

Nothing makes best friends best like holding the same things in contempt.

This was going to be a post on being a good team when it came to being evil and having fun.

Now I don't really know what it is about other then the fact that I want to start writing again.

So this is done next one will be up soon.

The Will

Something made me stop writing.

I blame facebook.

Fuck facebook.

It sapps creativity.

Encourages creepers.

That would be for you Jess.

Lets anyone have a web page.

At least it is not like fucking myspace.

Myspace had all of the appeal of a late third trimester partial birth abortion that was performed in some alleyway by a greasy hobo armed with a spoon.

Can you tell I like myspace.

It reminds me of cancer.

Before anyone decides to write an awesomely useless rebuttal about the merits of myspace remember. If you thought of doing so you are a failure in life. Get a razor blade and get 'er done.

I'm back at school so I might be writing some more from now on.

THE WILL

W : You are very broad minded.
I : You are great in bed.
L : Everyone loves you.
L : Everyone loves you.
I : You are great in bed.
A : You like to drink.
M : Best kisser ever.

W : You are very broad minded.
I : You are great in bed.
L : Everyone loves you.
S : Easy to fall in love with.
O : Awesome kisser.
N : You like to drink.

INSTRUCTIONS:
Start with 100% and minus 1% for everything that you've done. Then repost as your __% virgin.

1. Smoked
2. Drank alcohol
3. Cried when someone died
4. Been drunk
5. Had sex

( Read more... )

The Governance of my Life

Many passions govern my life. The strongest three are as follows: Friendship, the accumulation of knowledge and the freedom to dream. My passions drive me, guide me and support me.

To me the loyalty of one’s friends is the foundation of a man’s moral character. A man who is surrounded by people who believe in him, who support him and who love him is a man worth knowing. He is a man worth being. Love, loyalty and friendship are all circular. If you are loyal they are loyal back. If you love you are loved back. If you are friends then you just understand that the friendship is founded on love and loyalty. To have no friends is to exist in a void. A black gaping wound in existence is a friendless life. To have friends is to know that there is support, there is compassion, there is loyalty and there is love.

With only a minor temperance is my desire to know. Curiosity, wonder, understanding are all the focus of accumulating knowledge the need to always know more then the day before. It is a point of pride to read a novel in a day, to read the book before watching the movie. It is a moral level that is to be obtained. Reading understanding and implementing what I have discovered is a passion that will never leave me. It is a passion that defines who I am and why I succeed.

I dream. I dream of many things. I dream of my hopes, my fears, my memories, and my future. I can dream of anything. I dream of my car. I dream of my career. I dream of my family. I dream of all the things that are possible and all the things that are impossible. I dream of spaceships and of family. I dream when I am asleep and when I am awake. I dream.

These are the things that make me whole; my friends, my knowledge and my dreams. I am strong because of them. These things make me invincible in my soul.

 

THE WILL

View My Stats

Quote: "From a message board I frequent."

Ok, I had just gotten back to the office tonight after we had seized a LARGE amount of narcotics from this nice gentleman and given him an all expense paid ride straight to jail for his troubles. I went in and did my report and then went back out to look for more trouble. This is where the fun starts. The guys I work with love a good gag and I was the butt of the joke tonight so to speak.
While I was in the office doing my report, they took a mannequin and dressed it in black jean and sweatshirt and put a ski mask over its head, then placed it in the back seat of my patrol car.........................
I came out and like Ray Charles, I didn't see a thing till I had gotten out on the road and happened to glance back in my rear view mirror and there is someone with a ski mask looking back at me, I lock it up and skid sideways, coming to a extremely abrupt stop. I roll out the door,  gun out and start yelling for the Dummy to show me it's hands...... When he didn't comply, I promptly "Extracted him from the car" and then discovered it was a dummy. All the rest of my team was across the street rolling on the ground.... And so was I when I fully realised what had happened.   Don't say that I don't have a sense of humour, I'm just waiting patiently till I get my chance for a little payback.

I guess it shows that cops can be dicks to each other too.

THE WILL

I think that my best friend and her boyfirend are breaking up.
I wish that they wern't.
I really didn't know if I would be able to feel like that.
I was alway worried that I'd be happy. That I was secretly jelous and refusing to accept it.
   But I suppose that in this case I know I maintained the moral high ground.
I can't brag about it, but it's nice to know that deep down on the inside I was actually hoping that my friend would stay happy.
I don't know the details of what when down.
I don't really want to know.
   What I know is that my firiend is hurt.
   She didn't deserve to be hurt.
   She deserves to treated well.
   She knows it. She'll stand for herself.
   But it sucks.
I feel bad for her torement.
I hope she sorts everything out properly. For herself. She deserves it.

THE WILL

I love my friends but at times they can drive me crazy. I have an abhorrence to drama. I can't stand it. I never will. Nothing good ever comes out of drama. It just leads to change. I hate change so I must hate drama.

Every once in a while I feel like change and then the Drama reminds me why I hate it.

When it comes to drama in my life I take steps to change it. I make it go away. I fix or remove the cause of my stress.

Problems occur when my drama us from a friend who is going through a particularly dramatic period in their lives.

I care for my friends. I care that they are suffering. I care so much that the shit that they are dealing with stresses me and there is nothing I can do about it short of cutting my friends off from myself.

Since I am unwilling to tell my friends to fuck off because they are stressing me out and since I am unable to help my friends resolve their drama. I need to wait for them to fix it themselves.

I'm not a wait for everything to fix itself kind of guy. I don't work that way. When I see a problem I solve it. However I've learned that fixing problems for other people isn't always the best plan. People need to resolve their issues themselves. I can't do it for them. Even when it comes to giving advice there are times were I say "Do what you think is best." when they really want to hear "Do this. Like this because of this and that."

I wish I was a sociopath then I wouldn't give a fuck and only what validates myself would help me feel good about myself.

That was a really long way to say I wish I didn't care.

Drama Sucks

THE WILL

DANIELLE CLEMENCE

 AND WILLIAM WILSON

101 GEORGIAN COLLEGE

BARRIE ONT L4M 5Z6

 

 

 

OBJECTIVE:  Us want job. Will work for Money or beverages but not too hard and no weekends.

 

EDUCATION:  Some college, if you can call it that. Other wise known as “lifers”

                          Honors In the Last Class studies

                          Drinkingology and mixology degrees and inebriation

 

 

QUALIFICATIONS:

• Skilled in the art of lifting glasses and shooters from table to mouth
• Mastered falling down the stairs with out spilling a drink
• Mixing and drinking many different alcoholic beverages
• Quickly pour a double in the time it takes others to pour a single
• ….into my tummy
• Very friendly with other patrons
• Amazing at playing footsies
• Willing to do anything to get on top…I mean get promoted
• Been promoted in every past job
• Ideal Management candidates

 

WORK EXPERIENCE:

Bartender extraordinaire                                           Sept 01-05-Sept 03 -05

 

Job Duties

                             Showed up on almost on time for EVERY shift

                             Encouraged the patrons to drink….by joining them

                             Single handedly sampled all liquor before each shift

                             Introduced the self serve and BYOB system into the pub

 

 

Georgian College Student                                                            A while now…..

                             Earned 3 credits in less than 2 years

                             First name basis with the dean and councilors

                             Received our very own academic probation
                              letters signed by some Tamblin Character.
                                 Not many Students are awarded this privilege!

                               

 

VOLUNTEER WORK:

                                        Waited in many lines every Wednesday night.

                                         Regularly helped empting jugs, shooters, bottles and cups

                                         Donated 4-5 times a week to the Last Class fund or tab

                                        

 

REFERNCES :

 

Danielle Clemence                                       705 555 1968 EXT 5555

William Wilson                                             705 555 1968  ext 5555

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                  THE END!!!

 

 

                             

 

"If I tell guys what girls what to hear the it just makes things harder for me since I mean what I say."

THE WILL

"Beef" and Guinness Stew


INGREDIENTS:
2 pounds "beef" stew meat
3 tablespoons vegetable oil, divided
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 pinch crushed peppers

4 large onions, chopped    
1 clove garlic, crushed
1 1/2 cups Guinness
2 cups chopped carrots
2 cups mushrooms


DIRECTIONS:

1.     Toss the "Beef" cubes with 1 tablespoon of vegetable oil. In a separate bowl, stir together the flour and spices. Dredge the "Beef" in this to coat.

2.     Heat the remaining oil in a deep skillet or frying pan over medium-high heat. Add the "Beef", and brown on all sides. Add the onions, and garlic. Reduce the heat to medium, cover, and cook for 5 minutes.

3.     Pour 1/2 cup of the beer into the pan, and as it begins to boil, scrape any bits of food from the bottom of the pan with a wooden spoon. This adds a lot of flavor to the broth. Pour in the rest of the beer, and add the carrots and mushrooms. Cover, reduce heat to low, and simmer for 2 to 3 hours, stirring occasionally.

4.     Serve on mashed potatoes with a side of salad and Guinness to drink.


THE WILL

Wow I'm feeling a lot better. Thinking and taking the time to think is a hard thing to do. But having taken time to come to terms with what’s happening I've decided that I need to be optimistic and fast.

I don't like pity attention, all other kinds of attention are ok, but not pity.

I though long and hard about why I share with the world and I decided long ago it was because I feel that I'm special. That I'm worth talking to and what I do is worth the whole world knowing.

Now I look at my livejournal and figure and hope that it will be around for a long long time. I think that would be cool or at least the next best thing until I get a book published.

I hear publish on demand is a viable source.

However I also think that I need to prioritize. Set some goals. There is no point in only having one long term goal. I think that a bunch of short term goals need to be added to the long term one. I want a doctorate. I want to retire when I am 45.

I would also like the opportunity to win the lottery. That would make my day.

So I'm feeling better and more emotional in synch.

I guess I'm just over the shock and trauma and accepting that I need to wait and see.

Hopefully I'll be fine.

In fact I know I'll be fine.

And that's good news.


THE WILL

Last night I drank, I drank and drank and drank. Thats where I was supposed to stop. Instead I did it ten more times. Then I puked and went to bed.

Well slept in the couch at Steph's place.

I am aparrently cute when I sleep.

But since I'm hot when I'm awake I guess I can be cute when I'm not.

But the important things happened the next morning.

Since I am smart when I drink, and I make myself puke instead of waiting to puke and I was barely hungover.

But I did wake up at 6am. So I spent the time thinking. And a read a cosmo. Cosmo doesn't know what it's talking about when it comes to sex advice. Then I though some more.

I need to accept that I am sick. To fully confront the possability that my life expectancy has been roughly shoved down from where it should be.

I don't want to accept it, I'd rather pretend that nothing is wrong with me at all.

I need to accept it. I need to accept that depending on whats wrong with me, my long term plans are pretty much pointless. To stop looking for a wife and just start a matress tag league. To stop preserving and to start consuming. After all if I only have 10 years there is no time for having a family. Why bother having kids if you won't be around to be there for them. Mind you my staement of 10 years is very pessamistic and it is assuming alot. However I find it much more likely that I will only loose out on maby 10-15 of my projected lifespan however that makes me a tad optamistic. I figure that as a best case senario I will probally have to take medication every day and everything will go back to normal. As long as I take my meds.

I spent my time thinking. I worked hard at it laying on Steph's couch analyzing and processing and planning and preparing different scenarios through my head. I must have gone through a thousand as I reevaluated my long term plans. As I prepare myself for the worst news and hope for the best. Thats how I deal with things. I plan for the worst and hope for the best.

Right now I'm in limbo, I know that there is something wrong with my body. I feel it in my heart and my hands. I know what they symptoms are. I know that I need to find out whats wrong with my body. After talking with my doctor and figuring knowing whats in my family's genetic history it is entirely likely that I have Hypothyroidism (click the link to learn more) and after going over all of my sympotoms I figure thats what is wrong with me. The other thing I could have is early onset heart disease (no link for that one) and that one is very bad.

I'm in limbo I wait for information. I wait for reassurance that I will be around in ten years or twenty or thirty.

Right now I have to plan for everything. Maby I should just find somone who is just as short lived as me and be happy for the time that we have but that just shows how much I like my plan to find a wife and have kids.

THE WILL

There comes a time when everyone takes a long look in the mirror and accepts that there will come a time when they will not be around to look in the mirror.

Accepting one's own mortality takes time, and maturity. However it usually requires a catalyst, some shocking event that makes a person take themselves to task over their impending demise.

For me it was a series of events. I lost family. I lost a friend. Then I went to see the doctor for a physical.

Growing up has a lot to do with losing that sense of immortality that comes with childhood.

I've lost the feeling of immortality.

People from two generations ahead of me are all but gone. People one generation ahead are showing signs of age. Finally even people from my generation are starting to fall.

I looked out at everyone I know, content in the knowledge that I would be one of the last ones standing. Feeling as immortal as I could. Then the freight train of reality slammed into me as if I was a stalled car at the rail crossing. I go and see the Doctor for a physical.

Normally seeing the Doctor is seen as a smart thing to do. I'm certain that one year from now I will be glad that I went, but right now I am not glad to know what I know.  I don't like having my mortality thrown into my face. I don't like sentencers that include the phrase "expected life span" and "best case". I don't like being tested for hours on end. I really hate having to wait 24 days to find out exactly what is wrong with me and weather or not I can be treated and weather or not I will have a chance to live out a normal life.

I'll throw some more information online as I receive it.

THE WILL

Over a 365 day period I have buried three people, a grandfather, a gradmother and now a peer.

You think that I would be used to it by now. Surrounded by death, miserable, depressing, whithering death.

I feel like a piece of me is missing, hollow, broken and stupidified.

The shock is bad enough, watching my friends hurt is like salt in the wound.

I haven't decided whats worse. The sadness I feel or the sadness of my friends.

I think that it's the saddness of my friends that gets to me the most.

I can deal with my own emotions, I can't deal with the emotions of others.

I hate burying people. I hate knowing that people are gone. I hate the fact that it just happened and there was no warning or justice just suprise and deal with it. I hate the feeling of helplessness and the idea that it could have happened to anyone. Life isn't fair. That makes me angry. I'm relieved that life isn't fair. Erin didn't deserve to die. Hardly anyone does. Life isn't fair I guess it is a good thing. Otherwise bad things would only be happening to people who deserved it. Instead of bad things happening to people who don't deserve it.

I think I'm all ranted out.

THE WILL

Moving sucks.
Watching all my friends leave sucks.
Packing sucks. Cleaning sucks.
Roomates suck.
Irish midgets with gold... well they're cool.

I hate change and I despise everything that is different.

I'm moving into a house and I actually need to walk to the school.

I have a job for the first time in a while.

I have more things schedules for May then I have days off in May.

I can't get my car unil June I am so busy.

I literally need to dedicate a week of my time in june to getting my car.

There are a couple of certanties for the next few weeks.

I will miss my friends. All of 6th floor, expecially Kate, hotpants and Lisa on 4 get a special shout and the 200 people I see and talk to everyday who I suddenly won't.

I will be busy, poloticking and planning for my self serving nature.

Luckely me being self serving involves doing my job, so there are no worries on the student's part. Unless I hate you. Then you're fucked.

I have discovered through research and creative fact creating that Eve was quite the pirate hooker and she had a taste for men with wings. I have also decided that I'm not related to adam.

Well thats all for now.

THE WILL

...must come to an end.

There are times when I try to imagine what I will be doing in the future.

Some days I have a clear picture, of my goals and ambitions.

Some goals are easy to define.

Others are more abstract and complicated.

When I think about the things that I want to have accomplished in the future things are a bit more clear.

I want my name on a bunch of awards.

I'm thinking that I want to have written a book at some point.

Something simple three hundred pages or so, probally science fiction or comedy.

I figure I'd just need to write the fucker.

publishing is another matter.

Today I recieved an email asking people to sign a petition to stop the expected tuition hike. 

The expected tuition hike I'm sorry to say is important to the colleges and to me because if the colleges can't increase tuition to match inflation they will have to start cutting corners with the services that they provide.

Corners that could be cut are things like the collge bar, the gym, the cost of parking, the cost of books or access to the library.

Right now we have it good here in Onatrio with the tuition fees that we pay.

If you think any differently ask any non subsibised student what they pay in tuition.

They pay alot.

I personally will not begrudge the college the hundred or so dollars extra that it will cost for me to go to school.

So do not sign the petition the colleges need the money to be able to do their jobs.

THE WILL

Green, I like Green.
It is my favorite colour.
Green is nice.
My Car is green.



Drinking, I like Drinking.
It is my favorite pastime.
Drinking is nice.
I can drink alot.



St. Patrick's Day is more then drinking and green. It is a celebration of all things Irish. The fact that we as Canadaians have broken Irtish Culture down to green and drinking is more reflective of our culture then of Irish culture. Personally being from the society where we will take the shallowest excuse to drink more per capita then anyone else is kind of a point of pride.

I guess that makes Canada a bunch of polite alcoholics.

I like how I can break down my culture to it's simplest form.

THE WILL

I don't like feeling the way that I feel.

All I feel is an untangiable feeling of anger.

Like Rage. Red Rage.



An urge to lash out at everyone around me.

I'm angry when I'm awake.

I'm angry when I sleep.

My dreams are angry.

I don't know why I'm this angry.

I just am.

It could be because of the strike.

It could be because I stopped smoking last week, after cultivating a pack a week diet of cigars.

All I know is that I'm angry.

Really really angry and I don't like it.

THE WILL

A while ago I banned someone for trying to anger me on Livejournal. I kept the details of their post confidential. So other then my comments and my explicit statement that the one person was banned I kept their comments out of public view. I have decided to re-post their comments as a guide on how to get banned from my Livejournal.


The first one was a reply to this post. HERE

Subject: I hate people
The following mixture is the worst possible mixture to find in a person. Fat, arrogant, lazy, jealous, ugly, and selfish.

I've met people who have managed to meet some of these criteria but only one person who fulfills every criteria.

For example, making up shit about a certain someone who you think is lying about having cancer. This is an insult to anyone who is even remotely connected to anyone who has had cancer. Oh and if you think that Will is telling the truth... then how come he is the only one that's telling EVERYONE about this? Just because you lost the election to her doesn't mean you have to keep making this shit up. I could go on and on but what's the point.

Bad person.

I hate people like that.

This is a simple format copy of my post. They changed most of the words, threw in a bunch more stuff even called me out by name. However they forgot to sign their name. Luckily for me I can connect the dots. The dots were simple. I only know of one person who has claimed to have had cancer when they didn't. I also know that the person in question read my livejournal quite frequently. I also know that one of ther boyfriends also read my livejournal posts. Like I said connecting the dots is easy for me.

The second comment was to this post. HERE    

Subject: Wild Night Eh?
"Fuck me! I hate feeling pulled in all directions. It makes me sore inside." Will no one has to know what happened to you that one night when you got really really drunk.
I'm sorry I find this pretty amusing. I mean what kind of loser puts this kind of shit on the internet so everyone can read it... Oh wait that's Will. LOL

The second post was a quote, strangely I was talking about how sick my Grandmother was and how I was upset because my friend was going to leave but those were deep thoughts that some people may have confused. However I figure that the majority of my readers understand the difference between being emotionally sore on the inside and physically sore on the outside. Again their was no signature.

The third comment was to this post. HERE   

Subject: Will you have some serious problems
Six weeks of drinking. Wow that's quite the accomplishment Will. Is there anyone else who doesn't think that this is a serious problem? Your right it is a big deal and it's also a serious problem. You know what else is a serious problem? Picking up your brown belt on a first date from a virgin.
The real accomplishment here is not about the six weeks of drinking. It's actually about Will coming out of the closet. Good for you Will, you just admitted to everyone that you like to shove it up the dirt road.

"That's like holy trinity on a Sunday morning." LOL

So a quick list.

Things that I like.

I like it when Will finally comes out of the closet.

I like it when Will tells everyone that he has a serious drinking problem.

And by the way Will is a fucking loser and don't you fucking forget it. Ever.

For the record being willing to put it where ever a girl wants isn't gay. It's called being a gentlemen. There are only a couple of people who know what a holy trinity refers to obviously the posters are not one of those people. Usually when someone reads they take from their reading experience the things that mean the most to them. Apparently me being a homosexual, that means gay in case the posters are reading this, is very important to the posters. I could never figure out why my sexual orientation was so important to people but apparently it is. Finally there was no signature.

Originally my resopnse was simple. Delete the posts, and save a backup for a time like this, and ban the poster. Aside from being able to connect the dots, collecting electronic evidence I took the time to write a detailed open letter to the posters HERE. Another thing to note was that the three comments were started at; 11:03:38, 11:05:45 and 11:08:48 all in the pm on November the 10th. If you forgot to check the time of my reply it was posted at 02:16:00 am on the 11th of November. I seriously doubt that anyone had the chance to read what the poster had to say but I figured that everyone who reads this journal deserves an explanation on why I banned a reader with what appeared to be no notice.

Now you all know what it takes to get banned from my Livejournal.

Remember I WIN.

THE WILL

I help Dave do Monday night movies at the school.

Because I help Dave I end up watching a lot of movies that I wouldn't even touch with a ten foot poll.

One of these movies was what appeared to be a chick flick.

I went into the movie expecting to be bored, and to mabe laugh a little.

There were a lot of big name actors in it.

Not blockbuster actors but actors that I recognised as being very good at acting.

The movie was above average as far as story and acting was concerned.

It was a drama and a chick flick.

It was the sub-plot that was like a emotional sucker punch.

I'm still an emotional wreck.

I know it. It's a healthy part of mourning.

But when you're watching a movie that is designed to pull your emotional strings.

The movie pulls just as hard for someone who is hurting as for someone who just walked in off the street.

It's just more effective at reaching people who sympathise with what happened.

I wasn't prepared for that. I was barely in any condition to deal wit it.

It was a good movie but I won't be watching it again.

It made me hurt on the outside.

THE WILL

For the record I hate drama.

I do everything in my power to avoid it.

I paretically invented the religion that preaches the avoidance of drama.

I am the pope of anti-drama.

Tonight I had to deal with more REZ drama then I've had to deal with all year.

Tonight was special because unlike every other time when I deal with drama.

I was stuck in the middle.

Right in the grey area.

That space between the night and the star.

Stuck in limbo where I can't decide who is right and who is wrong.

A place where helping one person hurts another and vice versa.

I hate being stuck in the grey.

I hate being in a place where I have to choose.

Where I am forced to reach back to my moral foundation to say "You are right and you are wrong."

This is exactly why my friends shouldn't date, and why they shouldn't fight and why they need to realise that in my little universe I like things simple and drama free.

Right or wrong. Black or white. Red or green. Hot or not. These are things that I like.

Once someone is my friend it is really hard for me to judge them.

It is hard for me to condemn them.

It is hard for me to speak out against their actions.

I am content to be without drama.

I am content to avoid conflict and embrace peace.

I like my routine.

I hate speed bumps.

I wish my friends would just get along, to bad my little world isn't part of the real world.

THE WILL

View My Stats

So there are some times where everything lines up.

The stars lined up for Jesus when he was born.

The (wo)men lined up when Danni lost her pants.

The days lined up for our Birthdays.

The 27th then the 28th. Those were the days. Danielle and Katie were Born and then I was Born.

So we did what any college students would do, we drank.  And drank and drank and drank. I'm now sore. I will drink again tonight just because the bar is open.

Katie had her 19th birthday. She started to drink late at 2pm. She drank and drank and drank. She wen't to her impoirtant meetings drunk. Then she went home and while her best friend was out having dinner with her father she drank a bottle of two of alcohol.

Then she may have smoked a joint.

It was needless to state that she spent the rest of the night with her head in a bucket.

Danielle had a much more productive birthday.
She drank with the best. THE WILL and partied all night, there were pictures and drinks for everyone involved with the fun.

It was an awesome night, at midnight during the dramatic birthday changeover THE WILL and Danielle had 6 shots in a minute.

The Changover Minute was impressive for everyone in attendance.

That night ended at around 4:00 am.



THE WILL and Danielle look so Impressive.

I would Kill for my friends.

Nothing hurts more then watching someone I know and care about suffer.

Nothing is worse then emotional pain.

My friend is going to go through the exact experience that I have spent the last 11 days going through.

I realised that even though I wrote about my feelings and experiences I never wrote anything that could be used to explicitly help anyone deal with the things that I have had to deal with over the last couple of days.

So I will just cover what I went through and how I delt with every situation so that my one friend in particular has something to help her deal with all of her emotional family issues.

I told her that if she needs an escape to help her deal with the things happening at home my livejournal would make things better.

So I'm going to do my best to help her in her time of pain.

How everything went down, as far as I can remember.

Thursday I received an email from my mom telling me that my Grandmother had been moved to Palliative care. I knew that my Grandmother was very sick. I knew instinctively that palliative care was a bad bad thing. I talked to one of my many heal sciences friends to find out exactly what it was. Palliative care is what they call it when they are waiting for someone to die. The purpose of palliative care is to make the patient comfortable before they pass on.

Thursday was also a big drama night. Two groups of my friends didn't mix well at all and even though I love my friends dearly I just couldn’t deal with it. I just brushed it off. I told everyone involved to just drop it and move on. As far as I'm concerned it's been dropped and everyone has moved on.

Friday I spent the day with some of my close friends we talked I figured some things out and I wrote a bunch of emails just to be sure that me not coming back to school for a while wouldn't be a problem. I then preceded to buy my bus ticket for the ride home and a bunch of beer. I got drunk with my friends. I drank till the pain went away. That happens around beer 16 or 17 by the way.

Saturday my friends drove me to the bus station for 5:45. I can't thank them enough. I slept most of the bus ride, my anxiety went through the roof every time my phone rang but it was just my friends calling to see if I was all right. At 2:45 I arrived in Ottawa, my mom picked me up. We went straight to see my Grandmother, I only visited long enough to see that she wasn't aware of well anything and to say my goodbyes. I didn't vocalise them I just said them in my head. When someone is that far gone only the spirit can hear you and things don't need to be said out loud for it to be understood. I went home and had dinner with my family and spoke to my brothers. My youngest brother was having the hardest time dealing with it. Being young and the baby of the family meant that he was simply unprepared for what he was feeling and how it conflicted with his self image. At 9:20 my Grandmother died. My Mom, dad and myself went to the hospital to be sure and to collect her belongings. I said my final goodbye.

Sunday I spent the morning with my nephew eight year olds don't quite grasp death. Me and Seneca, my nephew, had a long talk about it. Sunday was spent talking on MSN and talking with family. I also figured out why my brother was in such a bad mood. You see over the summer my Grandmother had bought my brother his car a 1974 Dodge Dart. It's a sexy car. It was basically his inheritance. He felt pressured by his social group and my Mom and School and wanting to drive in the winter to sell his car. Except the most he could get for it was $2000 and it was bugging him that he felt forced to part with is $9000 car for really pennies on the dollar. So I told him that I would buy his car for $3000, He agreed and his mood improved dramatically.

Monday was a planning day, we went to the funeral home, the local bar everywhere to plan thing out and figure out when everything could happen.

Tuesday was the same as monday except everything was finalised and I got a nice hair cut. I spent the rest of tuesday writing my eulogy.

Wednesday was the calm before the storm. I wrote and I drank and then my brother spun my mom's car out and cashed into a snow bank. He is lucky he was unhurt. That was big drama. My Oma also arrived from Owen Sound for the funeral. Big drama day. I had to stay up for most of the night to be sure that my brother didn't have a concussion. We played Lego Starwars. A game made for eight year olds. It was about on par with my gaming abilities.

Thursday was the funeral. Suit and tie, look good for well everyone. It too me about 15 tries to get my tie just right. Then I had to tie my brother's tie. It only took me 5 tires to get it right. I was literally editing my eulogy right until we walked in to sit down for the ceremony. The minister talked the my cousin spoke. My cousin read an email that his father in Australia had written, and then he went on to thank my parents for making sure that my grandmother could spend her last years with our family. That was her wish to spend her final years surrounded by family. He thanked my parents, he thanked my brothers and he thanked me. I then stood up to speak. It was really hard. usually when I speak in front of people I'm quite animated and it's half improve and half planning but in this case I was rigid all of my lines were pre-planned every movement planned ahead. It was like a trance. A zen. I knew what I had to do and I did it. It was hard. I wanted to stop and cry and pause and mourn but I was up there in front of 60 people honouring my Grandmother. I spoke of her and the deeds that she had done and the things she stood for. I spoke to remind everyone why they were at her funeral and why she was worth mourning, and why she will be missed. After the funeral proper we went to the local restaurant for the wake. I was completely burnt out. If the funeral was spent hearing condolences the wake was hearing thanks and compliments for how well I spoke of my grandmother. It was good for the ego and good for the soul but it wasn't what I wanted to hear. It didn't feel right being complimented and thanked for doing what I felt, and feel, was the right and proper thing to do. After the wake the close friends and family returned to our house for drinks and drinks and smoking joints and reflection. The time spent at the house was really a proper wake for me. The people who were there were reflecting on my Grandmother's life and how she made theirs better. That was really the time when I felt closure and when I finished mourning.

Friday I slept all day. Same with Saturday and Sunday my Oma dropped me off at School here in Barrie.

So my friend who is hurting right now. I hope that this helps you deal with your family issues with your Grandfather. I hope that my reflection on my experiences will help you get through your difficult time and I hope that when everything is said and done and over that you have no regrets. I hope you leave when everything is done with a feeling of pride in your family and a feeling of completeness and closure. Do what you think is right. Face things on your terms. Stand tall be strong for your family and tell everyone what you think because if you don't share your opinions then your opinions are wasted.

Love

THE WILL

Vice President

vice-pres·i·dent (vsprz-dnt, -dnt)
Abbr. VP

1. An officer ranking next below a president, usually empowered to assume the president's duties under conditions such as absence, illness, or death.

2. A deputy to a president, especially in a corporation, in charge of a specific department or location: vice president of sales.

of

of  (v, v)

1. Derived or coming from; originating at or from: customs of the South.

2. Caused by; resulting from: a death of tuberculosis.

3. Away from; at a distance from: a mile east of here.

4. So as to be separated or relieved from: robbed of one's dignity; cured of distemper.

5. From the total or group comprising: give of one's time; two of my friends; most of the cases.

6. Composed or made from: a dress of silk.

7. Associated with or adhering to: people of your religion.

8. Belonging or connected to: the rungs of a ladder.

Administration
ad·min·is·tra·tion   (d-mn-strshn)

Abbr. Admin

1. The act or process of administering, especially the management of a government or large institution.

2. The activity of a government or state in the exercise of its powers and duties.

3. often Administration

a. The executive branch of a government.

b. The group of people who manage or direct an institution, especially a school or college.

4. The term of office of an executive officer or body.

Elect
e·lect  (-lkt)

1. Elected but not yet installed. Often used in combination: the governor-elect.

That’s Right....  I am the SAC Vice President of Administration Elect 06-07  That means that I WIN. I love winning and gloating and feeling generally superior. It's humbling at times.

The circumference of the Earth is 40,075 km at the equator. It takes the earth 24 hours to complete one rotation along its axis. So the earth is spinning at 1600km/h at the equator.

The earth spinning is how we tell time. Where the sun is in the sky determines 90% of the decisions that we make.

Time is how we measure all things. Calenders, watches, seasons all depend on time.

Time is just an imaginary system that was made up so that we could organize ourselves.

It's worked wonderfully. Look at how organized we've become. Cities, Cars, Planes, trains....

... we've managed to become really organised.

Unfortunately becoming super organized means that we've made things so that feelings and emotions don't fit in to the schedule.

The 24 hour work day that is life doesn't have enough time set aside for thinking.

That's so only the smartest people, the fast thinkers, will be able to take a look at the world and try to change it.

Luckily or unluckily for me I have the time to think about how the world works and how to make it better for everyone.

One day I will be able to look out at the sun and think about how fast we're spinning and think about how the world is a better place.

Until that time I will think about how I'll make it better. Even now my actions have made my little corner of the world better. I think I'll continue that trend of directing my efforts towards making the world a better place.

Here is the completed version of my Grandmother's Eulogy. I wrote it. I'm presenting it. I hope it's going to be well received. The blue parts are additions while the red parts are subtractions. The biggest change in my editing was the removal of the 4th paragraph it was more about me then about her. Everything else was a thematic change for greatest effect.

1918 December 26. Eighty seven. Eighty seven years old. Eighty seven years to change the world. She sure did it. Two children or three. Our family’s math is complicated. Five grand children or four again the math. Two Great grand children. Jeremy, Seneca, Alex, Karl, William, Kristine, Norman Richard, John and Norman. Invariably clever, with unending determination, perseverance and wit. And we look good to boot. These are all traits we gained from her.

And one final trait, that of sacrifice. That was her big one. She gave to give. Not for thanks. Not for commendation. Not for visibility. But because that’s the way that she was. She left people with the feeling that after interacting with her that they were getting the long end of the stick. That they won by knowing her and by spending time with her and by being friend or family to her.

She was patient, supportive and loving. She led by example and example alone. She is was the matriarch, the nexus and the focus of our family. No matter where she lived be it at Sanford or the farm. People came to see her. For some of us it was a hundred feet of walking. For others it was five hundred kilometres of driving but the trips were made. They were made to visit her. To spend time with her because visiting her was important worth it.

She really was special. Everyone called her Grandma. I to this day have trouble thinking of her name. Out of all of the people in the family her name was the last one that I learned. Mom, Dad, Oma and Opa I learned their names first. For the longest time she was just Grandma. She has only ever been Grandma to the grand children. Everyone else who could have had that title assumed another one.

Eighty seven years of living, loving and giving. Miracles surround us because of her. She lived through so much. Accomplished so much. She has a son who has already surpassed a Doctor’s prediction ten times over. She has another son in Australia. he couldn’t be further away but he didn’t leave because of her. She raised her grand daughter. She played mother twice. Most people can barely do it once. There is so much to say and so much that I am missing and omitting and forgetting and wishing I could describe for to you all. Except I can’t talk for two days on end. straight. Eighty seven years and I can’t cover it all. I can cover most people in fifty words or less and I can barely do her justice.

February 18th at 9:20 2006 was the end. It’s a good thing that memories are last forever.

I always knew that I was a good writer. I always knew that I was good at speaking to an audience. I never realised how good I must be until my Dad asked me to speak at his Mother's funeral. Fan mail for the livejournal wasn't enough. Having a hit counter hit a 100 in a week wasn't enough. I had no idea that my writing and my ability to communicate were seen so favourably.

THE WILL

WARNING Deep introspective thoughts ahead.

Our experiences are what makes us what we are.

As a kid I never had to deal with death. Not a single time did anyone in my family die. The last major death is the family was my grandfather and he died in 1980 two years before I was born. Coincidentally his name was William. So from the period of my birth in 1982 to 2002 I never had to deal with the emotional wounds and growth that death causes. The most traumatic deaths that I experienced as a child were on TV. To be honest I am about as desensitised to violence on TV as you can get. my desensitisation is so bad that Movies like SAW and more recently SAW 2 don't really do anything because the blood and gore just doesn't effect me.

So spending the first 20 years of my life without having to deal with an issue as massive as a gaping hole in the family structure makes the first couple of deaths wounding, especially when people spend more time relying on you for support then you spend relying on others.

The first death in the family was my cousin, Jeff. He was a week older then me. He killed himself. He was 20. I had no idea what to feel or how to deal with what I was feeling. [Guys have feelings, amazingly we do. I just don't believe that feelings should be treated like theatre.]

As an aside my vies of suicide are kinda different from the generally accepted standard. I am pro-choice in all things. Abortion, voting, dieting, exercise, fucking and killing yourself are all choices and they are all choices that can only be made by the person who makes them.

So when my cousin killed himself I told myself that it was his choice and even though I would miss him I would still respect his right to choose.

The next death in the family was my grandfather [on my mother's side] he too killed himself. Again I respected his choice.

As another aside it's not like I support suicide in fact I can't even fathom the rationale behind it. I can't understand why someone would not want to be alive, and more importantly I can't understand why someone would throw so much potential away because things are hard....

But I digress.

The first two people in my family who died were surprises. There was no expectation of their passing only shock and sadness.

The third person who died in my family was my grandmother. It was a seven month process. Seven months of illness and rebounding. Her death was not unexpected. In fact truth be told it is kind of a relief. I'm still sad though. Almost completely overwhelmed. Out of all of my family my grandmother is the person who I was most uncensored, unguarded and close too. It will take me a long time before I can go through a day without thinking of her. A long time.

I'll post more later, when I have the energy, I'm out.

THE WILL

The concept is simple 100 Ounces of beer in 100 minutes.
Who ever thought of that combination must have thought that she was clever.
100 ounces of beer works out to 2.9565 liters of beer and at 341 ml per beer that works out to 8.67 bottles of beer.
100 minutes is one hour and 40 minutes.
So lets do a bit of rounding Ten beers is 3.4 liters and a hundred minutes works out roughly to an hour and a half.
Now the number of times that I've drank 10 beers in an hour and a half is remarkably low.

Probally only 10-20 times in the past few years.
But I digress lets do some more math.
Most Canadian beers have 5% alcohol by volume.
So 5% of Ten beers is 170ml of 200 proof alcohol.
Thats 5.7 ounces of pure alcohol.
5.7 oz of 100% = 14.25 ounces of 40%
14.25 ounces at 40% = 7.55 ounces at 151 proof

So the number of times that I've managed to consume that ammount of alcohol has grown considerably expecially when you consider that I'm using inflated numbers to guarantee that I have achieved the century club and my inflated numbers are a whole extra beer.

But ten beers in a hundred minutes is one beer every ten minutes we have all achieved that goal.

The most memorable times that I've achieved the Century Club:

Drinking Wine for the first and last time. 2.5 liters of ~12% wine in less then an hour. Went to the hospital on that one. In fact that works out to a double century club in probally half the time.

The time that I learned that iced tea in a shot glass looks exactly the same as fireball in a shot glass.

The time where I confused 151 with regular rum and chased it with labbat's blue.

The time where we all drank 40s after skipping eating for a whole day.

The time where I drank 4 pitchers of beer and a half a bottle of Jack Daniels at the TLC.

The time when I drank a 40 of Gin and then went to the bar only to return and supposidly make a mess down the 8th floor hallway.

Basically every single time that I've puked and many many other times when I didn't puke. Like Steph's 21st birthday party where I killed god knows how many beers.

THE WILL

BUSCH

In Barrie there is a house, this house looks like any other house in Barrie. On the outside there are only two thinks that make it any different from any other house in Barrie the Number on the side and a burnt out light that makes locating this house at night a pain in the ass. This house has a front yard and it has a back yard and it even has a bit of space between it and the houses beside it. It even has a garage. The thing that makes this house special is that stuck to the wall in the kitchen is a can. A beer can. A Busch Beer Can. The Can is unimportant. Irrelevant. What the Can represents is important.




The Can spawned the Ultimate Singles Club in Barrie and it is located inside the Headquarters of this club. BUSCH is like a co-ed fraternity. More morally devout people who physically demonstrate the symptoms of having had a large soup utensil inserted like a probe into various out holes would call this house a breeding ground for degenerate alcoholic college students, or a bastion of sin. Everyone else calls it the only social in you'd ever need in Barrie to Be The Fun.

Busch was not always called bush, it started out as an Oasis. But back then it was located in a room, filled with fish, condoms, beer caps, a midget and a nurse, back when it was an oasis there were members, only a few have survived to this day, and fewer still are as awesome as myself.

The original few included Myself, Courtie, Aidie and Stephie back then there were a bunch of other people who were around however most have moved on and only return for reunion parties or when in the area and in a desperate need to be de-soberised.

Currently the Busch house has at least 38 members probably more but the number will only go up as the webmistress has free time. So I wager that there won't be many updates until the 17th or 18th.

The Busch web page is located at:
http://www.freewebs.com/buschgc/

Take a look they just rolled their counter over 500 tonight, so I imagine that it'll go up more and more as word of mouth spreads.

I'm proud to be a Busch member because I know that my liver isn't the only one in pain.

Will

Another Story From WILL

It's amazing how only a couple simple statements can lead to dramatic changes. For example here are three emails, one written by myself and the other two by Kelly. These emails spaned about a week, with the first one being sent right after a failed pub and the second being an immediate reply and the third arriving about a week later.


To: RSC

Well, I kinda wonder what you guys did last night. I know where Jeff, Will, Charlotte, Cole, Paul, Nina, Mike, Steph and I were. We were at the casino pub at TLC. Rubin, Shooter, Katie and Alicia talked to me prior and had other things to do so no worries about you 4. For the rest of you, what happened?? This was supposed to be a combined effort between us and the RLT. I just don't understand what happened. Were you guys not interested? Did you have too much school work? Do you just not care anymore? These were things that should have been brought up when were discussing the possibility of the pub. If you weren't gonig to attend or had a better idea it would have been nice to know. We were also in charge of clean up last night. Cole, Jeff and myself took care of all of it with the help of the RLT. The whole plan was that they were supposed to do set up and we were supposed to do clean up, which all of you knew going into this!!!!! I just don't understand why you guys aren't willing to do anything anymore. We have our appreciation dinner soon and progressive supper in less than 2 weeks. I really need you all on board for that one! If you aren't gonna be there, you need to let Stephanie AND myself know why and what you are going to do about it. This is what you guys volunteered for!! This may sound horrible, but if you aren't willing to be a leader in the building, why are you on council??? To those of you who did help and attend the casino, thank you from the bottom of my heart!! I appreciate everything you did and hope that you all had a fun night!

Tickets and money from this pub need to be into me by tonight, or Steph by Tuesday so that Katy Sato and I can get together on Thursday when I get back to count all of the money. Please remember that we do have a meeting on Tuesday at 8. If you have any questions about progressive supper, please ask Steph at the meeting. I will be back Wednesday night so feel free to leave me a message and I'll call you back as soon as I get in.

Cheers
Kelly Smith

Director of Activities



To: Steph
Subject: RE: Kelly's email

I love how the members of RSC are being blamed for poor planning and poor communication on Kelly's behalf. I love how members of RSC are being shit on because everything didn't happen like it was planned. Like the whole pub part, what a waste of our money and resources and time. We could have just let the RAs do their casino night in the boardroom and the only difference would have been a lower monitary cost for RSC. I think this email is bullshit and I hope that you save it, so it can be used during honorarium time.

Will



To: RSC

Hey everyone!!

I'm back from Montreal. I heard that there was some complaints about the email that I sent last week. I want to first of all appologize for those of you who were at the pub. I appreciate the time you guys took to be there. For everyone else, if you feel that I was harsh towards you, I probably was. I jsut don't understand why things aren't getting done right now. If you guys can explain it to me, then it'll be good for me for next year. Any and all critisim would be appreciated so that I can see where things can remain the same and be improved for nex year. Thanks guys
Cheers,

Kelly Smith

The Funny thing is that these emails led to one thing impeachment. The people named inthese emails were all wing representatives and as the voting body of RSC we collectivly decided to toss her out. Impeachment followed and a few weeks later she was done. There was much more drama that followed but basically she was re-instated as Director of Activities under protest from the Voting members of the council. I love how I had the foresight to save my emails.

Will

Here is a nice History Lession / Story I hope everyone enjoys reading it as much as I enjoyed telling it.


Sara: WIIIILLLLL.....
Sara: I wanna hear a story
William: why?
Sara: I said that i want to hear one...
William: ok I'll tell ya a story
Sara: Yay!!!
Sara: woo hoo!!!!!!
William: so once upon a time about two years ago in the summer
Sara: OoOoOoOo it's starting to get interesting
William: So Steph, Glen and Sarah were at a meeting
William: discussing residence's first ever orientation
William: and at this meeting there was some drinking happening
William: and some of this drinking may have been of the adult nature
Sara: and did they get drunk?
William: and they were discussing how to make the students react to the event positively
William: and someone said we'll need a slogan
William: and the someone else said how about....  being .....    ......the  ..... fun
William: and then Steph said "how about BE THE FUN"
William: and then BE THE FUN became the orientation motto
Sara: oh!....so that's how that came to be
William: but it worked out so well that she made it the unofficial RSC motto
Sara: LOL that's Steph
William: and then when november came around
William: this attractive, intelligent, funny, conceited, hot piece of man meat named The Will was writing the RSC constitution.
William: from the crib notes that were left to steph the year before
William: and this fine specimen of manliness
William: decided that RSC needed a motto
William: a motto that would be entrenched into the constitution
Sara: and what did you come up with?
William: So this hot piece of man meat decided to add a section of the constitution that was dedicated to BE THE FUN
William: and that’s how BE THE FUN ended up in the RSC constution



THE WILL

So I was in the SAC office and I was getting ready to pack my shit up and leave when Anna shows up and starts talking about getting food. So we decided to get food and since we're gonna be driving we offer to give Steph a ride home. So me and Anna decide to stop at Timhortons on the way to stephs and Steph offers to let us eat at her place. I gave her fries and gravy and chicken for this. I assumed correctly that she would like having yummy fried food. Steph's plans for the night fell through so we all agreed that drinking at REZ would be a blast befor heading over to Steve and Chris. While at rez we decided to go out and see everyone who we know. Between myself and Steph we know alot of people. Tons and tons of people. So we had the oppertunity to see people on 3rd, 4th, 6th and 8th floors. We invited everyone out and then went around again to collect people. We walked to the TLC with Tavvy, Matty, Whitney, Stepn and myself. When we arrived at the school me and Steph being completly alcohol free went into the Sac office and chatted with Dave who had just finished his homework. After chatting with dave we went in to the TLC so I could drink. I lost track of steph at this point because we'll it's none of my busness what she does with her time as long as it doesent hurt me. So I went on with my drinking with my friends it was all good then I deiced to go out and crowd chat. i talked to a bunch of people. It was Everet's birthday, happy birthday buddy, it was Sarah Burley's birthday I even singned her card "Thanks for stepping up and providing programming"  I thought that was witty and particularly true. I met Dave, he is the interm leader of CASA and we got talking about all of the different ways that he could go about fixing the autoshow comittie's repuation with the campus. I then went off to find Steph because i was getting tired and I was her ticket back into rez. So I found her easily and chatted for a minute and then  I wen off to find Witney who was hammered. We all headed back togeather along with Tavvy. When we got back to Rez me and steph chatted about a bunch of things and then she went off to bed. I headed back to 4th floor and went off to talk to Ashley and ended up having a deep and drawn out converation wiuth Michelle about RSC and the constution and everyone's duties responsabilities and everything. Then I came back her to sleep.

So I was chatting with Anna and I asked her advice on a solid way to get a specific hot girl into bed with her consent.

Her advice was "Skip the consent."

"What?"

"Skip it, getting consent makes everything difficult."

"So what you're saying is that instead of using my wit and humour to charm her pants off I should just pull 'em down and throw it in her."

"Well, not like that."

"Anna, you really need to work on thinking about the consequences of the actions that your advice could provoke."

"Yea but I meant it differently."

"How do you mean 'Skip the consent' differently"

"Shut up Will."

So my advice is don't ask Anna's advice on the subject of girls.
If you do you'll probably end up in jail.

Another Week of my life. Gone, wasted, drank away.

Good thing I actually accomplished something this week. I'm now the SAC vice president of Administration. What that really means as far as my drinking and fun time goes I have no clue.

There were some brutal losses today, cruel losses with a minor back handed victory but one that would have been assured none the less. It's a bitter pill to swallow. But we'll move onwards and outwards.

Will Here I stole this information from this web site

http://www.ron-turner.com/howtomakeatoga.html

Now on to the serious business of toga-tying....

• Don't use a sheet

• Let me repeat that

• Don't use a sheet

Go to a cloth store and BUY SOMETHING GOOD and, [shock of the century] SHEETS ARE REALLY EXPENSIVE! CLOTH IS CHEAPER. Really! I was surprised myself.

Anyway, trust me on this. You can go the cloth store and buy several yards of REALLY CHEAP CLOTH and that probably looks a lot cooler than any sheets would. 

Plus, at the cloth store, you can get some cool fabric that really represents your personality, whether it be royal purple or Snoopy or Snoop Doggy Dog.

---

HOW MUCH FABRIC TO BUY ?

• Six Yards: this is the official recommendation. I think it's too long.

• Five Yards: a little closer to reality, how much draping do you want?

• Four Yards: good enough for a simple man's toga.

For those of you who have NEVER bought fabric, YOU control how much LENGTH you buy, the WIDTH is a standard width that all fabric seems to come in which is about five feet wide, roughly. I simply take that width, fold it in half, goes once around my waist (a good place to hide a belt), then over the shoulder and just drape from there.

---

Here is a drawing someone sent me that suggests a different shape for the toga, although you'll probably being using a rectangular piece of cloth. None-the-less, it might be of some help.

It takes about three feet to go around your waist, and you need to wrap it at least 1.5 times around your waist before you throw the remainder over your shoulder (either shoulder). Then bring the fabric back to the waist, and tie it up or wrap it some more or whatever. Women will want to tie the fabric carefully to preserve modesty around the bustal region.

---

So there you go!! All the web research is done. I googled it by the way.

It's not that last semester was booring it was just pretty uneventfull when compared to the summer. Now things are picking up, and They're picking up hard, and Hard is good. Last thursday Cometto the Fucker came up to visit, and we drank and by we I mean I drank my face off with insane encouragement from Cometto and the rest of my drinking firends Blackwell, Danielle, Anna, Matty aka TEX and McTavish. Other people were around but I'm listing the people who influenced me to drink. Bastards. So we started drinking I was having a pre-mixed super drink.  A pre-mixed super drink is 12 OZ of hard liquor, a can of concentrated juice, and water as stated on the juice can instuctions witholding one can to balance the alcohol.  I had two of these. One with fruit punch and vodka and the other with Gin and lemonade. However I was really drunk when I got into the gin and lemonade and I started mixing my drinks as if I was pouring regular lemondade oout of the Jug.. It is needless to say that I finished the 40s before we left for the bar. So we go to the bar. I had $15 for drinking. Hence why I was heavily pre-drunk. However Danielle gave me $10 that she owed me and Cometto the Fucker kept buying me beers. I saw Steph and Worm at the bar and a couple other people who I recognised. However I was ruined. When we returned to Rez we went to chill at Balckwell's place. I blacked out around then. Everything that follows is only rumor and hearsay. So take that Fun Police I am told that while in Blackwell's room I shouted that I was going to puke and stumbled out of the room. Occording to the rumors I puked all the way down the hall. Take that hall. Unfortunatley I didn't make it to the stairwell before puking. That would have been really funny. Expecially for me. Then I appeared in my room and threw up a bunch more in the toilet. Then I went to bed. This is the ponit where it stops being fiction. Woke up showered went to subway had a sub and went to a six hour leadership conference. Finished that around 6:30 and headed back to rez to find out what had happened the night before. That night, Friday, I went to bead early because I had a body worlds trip. It went something like this;



Body world

Bedtime

2:00am Will in bed

5:30am Will looks at a clock for the last time before alarm goes off, Worm crashes at Worm's place.


Preparation

7:00am alarms went off Will gets up Worm turns off his alarm rolls over.
7:10 Will was outside walking to Corner store on Grove street to get batteries for the camera because the camera was dead and couldn’t take any pictures this will be ironic later

7:40 after walking through snow drifts 3 feet high (6 inches) with no plowed sidewalks on Duckworth and up hill both ways Will stumbles into residence to wake up a number of residents who were going on body world trip. Will had also bought precious Tim Hortons.

7:45 Called Worm, left message. Waited for feet to thaw and for Danielle to come downstairs to get her breakfast from Timmies. Breakfast from timmies ended up feeding myself, Worm, Jason, Danielle and Ben. Long story, Will is generous. Will returns to room to gather tickets, contract, camera and cheque and turns off second alarm. Will assumes roommate is mad. Doesn’t care returns to lobby.

8:10 Standing outside in blowing snow waiting for the bus by the roundy round.

8:15 Still waiting

8:20 Still waiting now colder

8:25 Worm calls Will, he just got up, begs Will to hold bus for him so that Steph’s puppy can drive him to the roundy round. Will tells Worm to relax.

8:28 Called Dave to ask advice on bus situation because bus appeared to be late.

8:33 Bus arrives Will take credit for saving the trip and making bus show up. Students seem tired yet impressionable.

8:34 Bus driver wants to cancel trip because of bad weather, will convinces her to try but agrees to call his boss, Dave.

8:35 Worm calls, “I’m on Georgian drive” Will says “So am I” Will was kidding.

8:36 Will calls Dave, gets advice on what to say if the driver decided that the roads are too dangerous.

8:39 Worm arrives, Will waves flirtatiously at Steph. Will and Worm collect tickets and make sure everyone has arrived. We are waiting for 3 people.

8:41 Final three people arrive. One is the seventeen year old. She sits with worm scamming Will out of a seat buddy forcing him to sit with random hungover guy. Will explains in detail what will happen if the trip is cancelled for safety reasons promising refunds, but only if we turn back. Will takes full credit for Dave’s plan. Worm is still sitting with 17.

8:45 Bus leaves. Roads are snowy. Will is optimistic. Worm is tired Will informs Worm that Will will sleep first so Worm had better say awake. Worm stays awake, with 17.

The Drive

Text messaged Dave because bus was too loud to talk on phone. 17 had an injured leg. Worm didn’t care. It happened before trip.

Danielle was cranky because she was hungover kept on requesting Will’s jacket. Will refused and pointed out that shouting in the morning would lead to spending the day with the bus driver. Danielle flipped Will the bird.

Two cars were in the ditch another played tag with the guard rail and another spun out right beside the bus giving everyone who was aware of the event a heart attack. Worm and the bus driver were fine.

Arrival

10:15 arrived after an hour and half of driving. The weather cleared up by Hwy 7 and everything was cool. Will tells the students that they will be meeting the bus at 4pm, Will also pointed out the location where we would all meet the bus.

10:16 Outside the bus Will repeated the pickup time of 4pm and the location.

10:17 Inside Will had every one put their stuff into lockers while he purchased the Tickets. Worm was issued a stamping machine to stamp all of the students. He preformed his duties excellently with diligence.

10:20 Stood in line at Body World entrance. Staff screwed up and we had to wait.

10:25 Still waiting

10:30 Still waiting, only angrier.

10:31 Lady who sold us our tickets came up stairs and yelled at the workers who were holding us up. We now really liked here. Worm asked permission to ditch 17 for Lady, Will already had dibs but is shot down Will cried like a school girl. More on this later.

10:32 Entered body world exhibit. Could not take any pictures while in exhibit. Hence the comment about irony and buying fresh batteries.

There were bodies mostly male. Anatomically correct. Will remains unthreatened Worm was a little worried. Danielle was still hungover and claustrophobic. Will told her to close her eyes and to imagine a big open space. Danielle said that she can’t do that because she gets the spins when she closed her eyes. Will pointed out that his policy of not drinking the nights before work had payed off yet again. Will ducks behind Worm as Danielle tries to assault him. Danielle gives up on attack on Will to pay attention to a cancerous lung. Will’s self esteem at an all time low.

11:30 Will and worm exit Exhibit. Test message Dave. Then called Dave. Chatted about event. Came to the conclusion that we have to wait 4.5 hours before leaving. Sat on bench.

11:35 Sat

11:40 Sat

11:45 Sat

11:50 Sat

11:55 Sat

12:00 Decided to get lunch. Went to restaurant on A level. Will ordered Diet coke and a water and the Fired Chicken Special. It was described as “Chicken and potatoes....    ...I think.” by the Waitress. Worm ordered Iced Tea, Water and a Texas Wrap with a garden salad.

12:30 Food arrives. Will discovers that his meal came with a cabbage salad. Will does not like cabbage, a side effect of having German family members who think of cabbage as a staple instead of a burden.

12:35 Cutlery arrives. Will and Worm eat, carefully incase of poison or mysterious ingredients.

12:45 Will and Worm pay for meals. After having the drink charges removed from out bills because they were never delivered. It was a zero tip service experience. Never ever eat at the restaurant in the Science centre, get street meat. And not the kind that you get from the vendors but the kind you find... on the street. Will talks about breakfast at the TLC and how good it is and how it needs to be made into an every day menu item.

12:50 Will takes first picture of worm as an astro naught He look ridiculous. Picture needs to be printed and sold on E-bay.

Worm and Will travel to the regular Science exhibits. Will learns that worm can fall like a kitten while Will’s falling skills are best described as that of a train... falling. Will is also schooled in a wheel chair race by worm and in a Karate chop contest. We learned how to cheat at the Jumping game, and the balance game. Will recorded a personal best of 30 seconds of balance while worm manage d 4 seconds. Will may have been cheating. We discovered an exhibit that led through a door to nothing. We were disappointed. Will scored 8/8 on a Canadian racial history test Worm did not attempt the test. There was a sensory depravation closet at the exhibit it was full of highschool kids. Or grade school kids. They all look the same to me.

1:45 Will and Worm sit to take a rest in the lobby of the Giant escalator area.

1:50 Sat

1:55 Sat

2:00 Sat

2:05 Sat

2:10 Sat

2:15 Sat

2:20 Sat

2:25 Sat

2:30 Sat

2:35 Sat

2:40 Sat

2:45 Sat

2:50 Sat

2:55 Sat

3:00 Sat

3:05 Sat

3:10 Sat

3:15 Sat

3:20 Sat

3:20 Sat

3:30 Sat

3:35 Departed bench for Bus parking area.

3:40 Arrived at Bus parking and waited for Bus. Talked to the students about the trip. Consensus was that the trip was very good and educational (well one guy said it was education) and for too long of a trip and that the next time it should be shorter. Everyone said that part. However all reports are positive. Even from Danielle who became less cranky over the day. It’s amazing what a plastically embalmed body can do for the soul.

3:42 Bus arrived.

3:45 Sat, counted students.  Called Dave. Discussed a realistic departure time.

3:50 Sat

3:55 Sat

4:00 Danielle arrived complained to Will that he stole her seat because well Will stole her seat.

4:05 Danielle steals seat back when Will goes to front b us to talk with the bus driver. Will talks to driver about real departure time and does a head count. The number is less then his previous head count. Danielle was hiding. Worm did head count successfully.

4:10 Last person boards bus.

4:20 Bus departs because Will forgot to count him self during head count. Worm calls will a funny name. Danielle is mean as well. Will cries again. Danielle agrees to share seat with Will.

Trip to school.

Katie called Worm asking why her truck wouldn’t go any faster then fifty. Worm suggests shifting into neutral and moving the 4WD lever to 2WD thus saving the day. Katie may have been caught speeding as a result of Worm’s advice. Worm’s dad calls and asks if he is all right because Worm’s MSN name talk about deep cuts. Worm explains to his dad that he is fine and the his name is referring to some deep emotional wound caused by his friend. Who is a boy. Worm now has no father. We read a Cosmo for advice of a adult nature. We all feel sorry for anyone who takes that advice and a bit of sympathy pain. Danielle ate an Apple and attempted to study. Danielle managed to complete one of her goals. The apple was no more.  We arrived at Georgian College roundy round. Will signed the bus driver’s paper. Will thanked driver for doing an excellent job during the snowy weather. Worm thanked her too and requested that she have a good weekend. He did not receive her number.

5:31 Called Dave to let him know that everything went well.

5:35 headed over to residence to type up this document.

5:40 Signed Worm into residence with a femininely coloured wrist band.     Worm commented on the amazing jury rigging job that Will’s roommate had done with the toilet. Will was amused momentarily.

6:57 Finished typing up this document.

7:25 Will fixed the document so it is funnier and more informative.

So thats what happened over a three day period. Three days. Thursday night to saturday night. So Technically thats only a 48 hour period.

Yea I said it 48 hours. 48 Hours. My life is like that show 24 but with less killing and more drinking.